Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
