I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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