so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize