Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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