You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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