Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
