Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
