I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
