Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize