How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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