Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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