That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
