Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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