im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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