the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
that may or may not have been my penis.
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