no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
