we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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