Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
