Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
