it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
