If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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