u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
