I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
