Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need moral support for this bender
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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