she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
