these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
