i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
