I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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