What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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