jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
