Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
