I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
