Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They took my balls.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
