Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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