i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
