I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize