apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I lost the right to judge tonight
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
