Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
