My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
