that's an acceptable place to lick
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sober January is a disaster.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
