I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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