Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
