I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
