At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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