i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Randomize
