so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We got so high we made milksteak
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is Oprah even human
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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