just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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