fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
