party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
