This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
