They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
