There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
