can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
only you would photoshop your dick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
