Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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