if only i could text you this smell
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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