Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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