Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
