Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
