i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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