I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
