Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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