You're so nebulous sometimes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
