so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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