Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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